hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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