Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize