In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
