There was a lot of him and a little penis
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
