True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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