Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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