it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
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