Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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