U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
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