waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
