Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
