5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
