This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We had sex on a dog bed..
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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