Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
