Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
