Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
