I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
