dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
