If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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