She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize