Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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