He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
