WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Drunk is not a location!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
