Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
