McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
