worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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