singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He passed out mid-signature
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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