Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
