so that wasnt chicken after all
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
