Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
