somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There's always time for handjobs
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize