I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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