you turned your livingroom into a bong?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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