I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
