We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I believe in your delicious
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
try to milk me bitch
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
