That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
