Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
