dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
