All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize