I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i barfeds in our rink
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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