he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
