Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
