is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
