He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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