so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
