DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
