if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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