We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
