I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
