Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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