Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
