another moral hangover. fuck.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize