i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize