Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
