glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
