Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
you never un-have a 4some
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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